A "Yellow Sunshine" poem I wrote about being bi in 2003

I have been going through my old CDs from all the backups I made in college (lots of stuff on these discs from High School....) looking for some of my old porn, and I stumbled across a folder filled with random text files and mini-journals.

One of them included this poem, which seems to be all about a crush on a girl. I don't remember which girl though. It seems too light and happy to be about The Woman (more about her in another post), but it seems to have been someone... someone with a boyfriend. Maybe someone I studied with regularly... According to the text file, I wrote this on March 15, 2003.

Yellow sunshine in my brain
scattered rainbows
contacts falling out
so bouncy
running down the halls, the urge to do a cartwheel
but hesitate.
So shy.

The ink smeared on my study-guide looks like art
I can stare at it, and see the future
or the past
so pretty

I'm the sunshine
and the raindrops
that together
make me queer.

My mood, so high
I could be a substance
sought after by
your girlfriend

And she would be my girlfriend
after that.

My head is a happy cloud
light-colored, headed
believe me not
I'm not on fire
Just happy.

I want to capture this
and put it in a solution
next to my old syringe
for a rainy day.

The poem feels so familiar... I still have the ability to just kind of sit with feelings of happiness even if I know that I'll never be able to act on those feelings. I think that's sort of where I must have been when I wrote this. Intoxicated, but willing to just put the infatuation in a drawer next to all my other crushes.